Photo credit: me!
Ever have one of those “What the hell am I doing with my life” panic attacks? You know the ones that you feel in your chest, like you’re about to hyperventilate? I had one of those today when I realized the guy I was entering into the database had been president of a particular subsidiary company since he was my age.
Now I’m not saying I would want to the president of a company (unless possibly it was my own company), but it makes me feel like I’m not living up to my potential, that I’m not as successful as I would like to be in the fields I would like to succeed at. That’s what gets the chest tightening a bit.
I have, perhaps, a misguided belief in our ability to create and shape our own reality. Unfortunately with all my varied interests, I don’t have a clear vision of the reality I’d like to create. Or maybe I do, but I lose sight of it. Or maybe I do and it’s just more complicated than most so it’s taking me longer to effect.
I don't know. If nothing else, it motivates me to work harder.
"I have, perhaps, a misguided belief in our ability to create and shape our own reality."
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's the belief that's misguided--perhaps it's the way that you put the belief into practice that may be misguided?
That, and the fact that you "don’t have a clear vision of the reality I’d like to create."
This is many, many years of misguided wisdom speaking. :)
Misguided wisdom can be the best. Maybe it's that I'm not committed enough or focused enough on the vision of reality I want to create.
ReplyDeleteIt actually doesn't take very much commitment or focus. Your vision takes:
ReplyDelete1.) Specificity. Once that's crystalized, then:
2.) Let go of the outcome (let go of expectations) by paying attention to the process
It takes a few other things too, but that's a good place to start.
Hmmm... That does sound like a good place to start, but I do need some measure of focus in order to crystallize the vision. Perhaps the moment of panic is more inspired by how unbelievably busy I am the next few weeks. No time to do anything, let alone crystallize a vision.
ReplyDelete