Friday, July 3, 2009

I am clearly not a phsycic

Well, the midpoint of the season is somewhere around now. Here are my completely incorrect predictions for the rest of the season:

By September 1, the Mets will somehow have a comfortable first place lead in the NL East, Central, West, and Wildcard and be on the verge of advancing directly to the World Series. Then they’ll collapse and not make the postseason.

No team will win the NL Central.

As a result, the Dodgers will have to play both the Giants and the Phillies in the first round of the playoffs in spring-training-like split squad games. They’ll beat Philly but lose to the Giants, but then beat the Giants in the NLCS.

After losing the AL East to the Red Sox and the Wildcard to the Blue Jays, somehow the Yankees will win the AL West. The rest of the league will whine about how the Yankees always get their way, while secretly wishing they could play the Yankees 162 times a season for the added attendance bump.

After losing 3 games to the Tigers, Steinbrener will yell “best 4 out of 7” and make them play another game. When they lose that one too, he’ll insist that they’re not out of it until they’ve lost all 7. Upon losing each of those, Bud Selig will invoke his “best interest of the game” powers to declare the Yankees the AL Champions, but still require the Red Sox to play a meaningless 7 game ALCS. The Red Sox will win all 7.

The Steroid Series between A-Rod and the Yankees and Manny and the Dodgers will surpass everyone’s expectations. The highlight will be the two superstars running arm-in-arm along a syringe strewn beach at sunset before falling into each others arms in a passionate kiss as the waves crash against their heaving bodies.

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In 1789, the governor of Australia granted land and some animals to James Ruse in an experiment to see how long it would take him to support himself. Within 15 months he had become self sufficient. The area is still known as Experiment Farm. This is my Experiment Farm to see how long it will take me to support myself by writing.