Thursday, August 19, 2010

Project Runway 8, Episode 3: Party Time

So I did actually get to watch last week's Project Runway while vacationing in paradise. I just didn't take a break from lounging around in the sub-tropical sun to publish a blog about it. Although, I did write this blog while staring out at the lush mountains of Kauai swatting at mosquitoes in the cool of the evening. I'm just not publishing it until after I've returned. So take that.

After watching the episode, I walked over to the pasture next to the cottage and asked the 40 year-old horse King and his spry 16 year-old appalucian female companion Kai a few questions about the episode.

Let's get right down to it. Sarah or Casanova?
King: For once we have to agree with the judges. Sure Casanova's dress was an explosion of, dare I say horseshit, but Sarah's truly was the worst dress in the bunch. It was sad.
Kai: Are you insane? Casanova cheated. He used table cloths and disemboweled plush puppies. Did you see him rip out the innards of those innocent stuffed animals? He shouldn't have just been out he should've been taken out back and stampeded over by wild mustangs.
King: Yes, yes. Quite.

Ok, next question. Gretchen: is she really such a bitch or is she just getting the business end of a bitch-edit?
King: While Gretchen certainly is getting the bitch-edit, you can't get the bitch-edit if the material isn't there. Still, she can't help it if the judges keep puffing their Marlboro's through a short length of hose connected to her ass. I'd be horribly conceited too if I won the first two challenges and finished first runner-up for a third.
Kai: Are you kidding? She's a queen-bitch. Who does she think she is going around critiquing people's work? That's Tim's job. Is she the Chief Creative Officer of Liz Claiborne? I think not. She needs to step off, and that skirt? I could buy that today at Forever 21 girlfriend.
King: Yes, yes. Quite.

I have two words for you: wooly balls
King: Oh! Oh-ho. Wooly balls.
Kai: Classic! Oh! Stop... I can't breath it's too funny.
King: Too true. Too true. Quite.

Oh... Oh... Ok. But seriously, do you think Ivy will have to leave the show, bringing Sarah back?
King: No way to tell.
Kai: Ah, she's all drama. She passed out from stress. She'll spend the night in the hospital and join the next challenge late.

At that point Kong evacuated his bowels and Kai signaled that the interview was over by chomping away at some avocados.

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In 1789, the governor of Australia granted land and some animals to James Ruse in an experiment to see how long it would take him to support himself. Within 15 months he had become self sufficient. The area is still known as Experiment Farm. This is my Experiment Farm to see how long it will take me to support myself by writing.