Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Letter to TV Critic David Bianculli

David,

I commute to work in San Francisco through a process known as "casual carpooling" wherein I ride in a different total stranger's car every morning so that they can use the carpool lanes on the Bay Bridge. I have no control over their radio station or what they listen to, but thankfully, they usually listen to NPR.

This morning I was forced in horror to listen to your entire piece "'Dexter' Is Back, With Just What We've Been Dying For". Thank you. Thank you for completely ruining the entire series to this point. I do not understand why, in a piece presumably targeted at people who have never seen Dexter in hopes of getting them to watch the show, you would divulge so many plot points and expose so many twists. Now I have no reason to ever watch what I'm sure is a wonderful show.

Perhaps you thought new viewers would need to have the first several seasons summarized in order to pick up on on it midway through. Have you not heard of the DVR or the DVD? Today, when someone wants to watch a series they've missed several seasons of, it's an easy thing to go out and get the shows that have aired to that point. I did not need nor want your recap.

Your piece was the most badly conceived and poorly written TV review I have ever encountered. Please think about your potential audience before you write such a thing again, or don't. I don't really care as I will never read or purposefully listen to your reviews again, and if one comes on the next time I'm in the casual carpool, I will breach etiquette to demand they turn it off.

Sincerely,
Alan Goy

**

Now that I've got that out of my system, per Diana's request, I will go down to Anchorhead and have my memory erased so we can someday watch the show without it being spoiled.

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In 1789, the governor of Australia granted land and some animals to James Ruse in an experiment to see how long it would take him to support himself. Within 15 months he had become self sufficient. The area is still known as Experiment Farm. This is my Experiment Farm to see how long it will take me to support myself by writing.