Friday, September 16, 2011

Project Runway 9, Episode 8: Aggressive Yawn

Anthony Ryan and his clients in the workroom 
Wow, that was one of the most boring episodes ever.

The Obviousness
If you didn't know before the episode started that Bryce was going home (he's clearly the next odd-man-out), you certainly did after the first five seconds. With no more immunity, it doesn't matter who wins, leaving this episode to weakly grab at my attention like a piece of wilted lettuce. From a distance, I didn't think his peptobismol dress was that bad, but he was next on the list to be aufed, so the judges made it so.

The Bert
Whom would I have sent home in Bryce's stead? Maybe Bert. How many times do they need to warn him to step it up? Still, watching him actually enjoy working with his couple was one of the few highlights of the episode. He CAN work well with others! Yay! Why was it so easy for him to compromise on his design esthetic for his clients but not for his other designers in the team challenges? But I don't know that I could have sent Bert packing for simply giving his client what she wanted, even if she wanted a retro-slutty dress.

The Bungling
You're really going to string me along for the entire episode thinking Olivier plays a major role in the outcome and then have him be in the middle three? Seriously producers? Yes, watching him get flustered by the extra virgin olive oil couple to his vinegar was entertaining, but as soon as he left the stage any lingering doubt one might have had that Bryce wasn't going home left the stage with him. How hard would it have been to slip him into either the top or the bottom three to at least justify his taking up so much of the episode's arc? Was his outfit that mediocre? Ok, maybe.

The Brian
Anthony Ryan's couple was the other glimmer of entertainment in the episode, and I quite liked his black-white-and-red dress. His being in the bottom three felt contrived to me.

The Gagging
At this point, I think Anya's going to win. She seems to poop rainbows. I did not like her sleeve-that-ate-Tokyo. Viktor's amazingly fab shirt and top, on the other hand, WAS BRILLIANT. How did that not win? Because he "over styled" it? Oh, no, he didn't win because Joshua poops rainbows and strawberry ice cream. Yes he made a cute little black dress and restrained himself from bedazzling it. So what? You're giving him a medal for not being who he is for a challenge?

Did anyone recognize that actress guest judge Malin Akerman? I'm not convinced you've ever walked a red carpet given the only movie you've been in in the last 10 years I recognize was Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Oh, and you were in one episode of How I Met Your Mother, but at this point I think every actress of a certain age has been in at least one episode of HIMYM. I think it's mandatory to get your SAG card.

More Gagging
I'm not sure I can bring myself to watch next week, if it really is a team challenge. With the exception of the first episode, every other episode (every time there's an even number of contestants), it's been a team challenge. That is total, 100% reality tv manipulation bull-shit.

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In 1789, the governor of Australia granted land and some animals to James Ruse in an experiment to see how long it would take him to support himself. Within 15 months he had become self sufficient. The area is still known as Experiment Farm. This is my Experiment Farm to see how long it will take me to support myself by writing.